I know I’m in the habit of writing Proust-length posts but today, I won’t. I can’t. It isn’t that I don’t have a lot on my mind, a lot to share. I could write chapters on the time I got to spend with Trey Pennington these past few years. I could sit here and tell you how much respect I had for the guy and how much I liked him – genuinely liked him – like when you meet someone for the first time and you instantly know you’re going to be friends for life. I could tell you about all of the Social Media Clubs he started all over the South East, about all of the lives and careers he touched all over the world, about the selfless work he did behind the scenes that no one knew about, that he never sought to take credit for. I could tell you about the rat-hole of a hotel he and I accidentally stayed in on one of our trips to London, and in a spectacular turn of fortune, the conversations about life and love and the future he and I had a year later, stretching late into the night in the warm heart of Dartmoor’s luxurious Bovey Castle. I could tell you so many anecdotes about Trey, about his infectious “aw shucks” southern charm, his gentlemanly disposition, his generous heart and the infinite kindness of his spirit. Hanging out with Trey, you got to glimpse a side of humanity that we seldom see anymore. He was the most caring and unselfish individual I have ever met. There was a pure, innocent quality about him that, once glimpsed, inspired you to be a better, kinder, gentler man. There was only one Trey, and now he’s gone.
So… my heart just isn’t in it today. I’ll never again hear the distinctive timbre of Trey’s voice reach for me across a crowded room. We’ll never again run into each other half-way across the world and joke about how, although we live less than five miles from each other, we only see each other overseas. We’ll never again clink glasses and quietly sip perfectly aged Grand Marnier in the world’s most out-of-the-way pubs and random hotel bars. And now we’ll never have that coffee he and I always planned on having. I always thought I was too busy. I always put it off. If there isn’t a lesson here, I don’t know what else to tell you.
I could go on and tell you that the world was better with Trey in it, that we needed more of him, not less, that he should have made a great CMO, the perfect marketing professor, a golden mentor for an entire new generation of marketing and business professionals, but so what. All I know is that he was my friend, and now he’s gone. Gone. Forever. No rewinding the tape. No turning back the clock. No re-do. Gone. I couldn’t have given two shits if he had been a janitor or a fry cook instead of an international speaker. I never knew how many twitter followers he had or how many friends on Facebook or how much klout he had. None of it ever mattered to me. I just liked hanging out with him. I liked talking shop with him. I liked to hear him laugh at my stupid dick jokes. I am heartbroken. Completely, utterly heartbroken.
Guys like him don’t grow on trees. He was the only Trey Pennington, and now he’s gone, and that’s it. I feel like someone just hit me in the stomach with a cricket bat, and writing post really isn’t helping, so here are some pictures I found of Trey, stuff I shot or that other people snapped with my camera. This is how I knew him. This was the world we shared. Aside from the memories and the record of his blog and Facebook page and Twitter account, this is all that’s left.
Godspeed, buddy. I miss you already.
Thanks TBB. I don’t have words for this right now. Amazing tribute.
Ditto. Thanks.
what a gift is your perspective and what a treasure to find this now… a healing balm for all of us who are shocked today..thank you for penning this post and may we each just hold our hearts that much more….i never met trey but i’m pretty certain he’d want that. thank you for braving this post olivier.
Thanks for this Olivier. I imagine it was a very difficult post to write, but it’s a fitting tribute to an amazing man.
Olivier, I’m sorry for your loss. This is a touching piece and a beautiful and fitting way to remember a genuinely nice guy.
Tears are flowing down my face…Trey was living angel…his generosity and kindness were beyond any human measures,..Trey flew all the way to Slovakia from Charlotte and he stayed just for 22 hours, spoke at NGLS conference, inspired emerging talents in Slovakia and flew back to US for another 13 hours…
I have no words to describe the loss…
Love you, Trey…
Just gutted Dickie. Watched your airport arrival video. So many clues on his FB photo page. Just gutted for him.
Denis
Olivier, your post says it all and so much more.
I feel for you buddy and am thinking of you tonight.
We’re all going to miss him. I miss him already.
I missed the last chance to chat with him on Facebook last night when he posted on my wall.
You and he were the Kings of Social Media from Greenville. I respect you both so much. I’ve learnt so much from both of you and as you say, Trey was just such a kind and genuine and generous person.
I’m typing this with tears running down my cheeks.
One of the Kings is dead – long live the king – Trey Pennington. 😦
My own thoughts: http://bit.ly/o0NmaU … I didn’t know Trey, but I know a lot of people in the Tampa Bay social media and marketing communities who did and who gained inspiration and motivation from Trey, and in the course of catching up I never discover how some make it through tough times (I’ve been down his road and then some) and others don’t. I wish the answers were simpler sometimes, but they never are.
Thanks Denis – I still can’t believe it’s true
Again Olivier — I’m so terribly sorry. Your friendship was a bond I always hoped I would find in my own life and career. I can’t imagine the sense of loss you must be feeling. Be well.
Your tribute is lovely. It is a tragic loss to the world. Still stunned by it.
The world and Greenville lost a great friend today.
Thanks for sharing these photos, Olivier, and your heart. The loss of Trey is unspeakable.
Thank you, Olivier. I feel like I know him a bit better through your words.
I am speechless! Thanks for sharing your memories with us.
Well done, Olivier. Am so sorry for your loss…
Trey will be missed. Thanks for sharing your wonderful pictures.
Dear Olivier,
When i saw the news I felt like someone has slapped me across the face, and I only knew Trey a bit. He loomed large over all I knew, but I always figured I’d get to know him better personally as time went on.
I can’t really begin to imagine how you, his other friends, and his family are feeling today. My best wishes to you that you can remember Trey as he was and not how he ended, and that there will come a time when remembering will bring a smile.
This is a complete shock. I’m so sorry, Olivier.
There are no words I can say to you to make you feel better. I know that. Please know you have a constant collective hug from all of us. Painful beyond words. Love ya.
I’m so sorry.
WOW, since I no longer go to FB I hadn’t read this yet. Holly Crap Olivier, I can’t believe this.
Sad day. Sometimes you don’t need words. The pictures you hare in this post tell the story.
Olivier….I don’t understand suicide. I don’t get it at all. And my heart breaks for him in those final moments of thinking HE HAD NO OTHER CHOICE. How had his mind become so fogged up that he could no longer see his way? I am in pain for him, and for friends like you and oh dear god- his children.
A wonderful tribute here. A great expression.
Grief is the price we pay for true love.
Personally, I didn’t know Trey, I’m only learning of him and this sad event through social media channels. How a seemingly selfless man could leave six children behind with unanswered questions just doesn’t make sense. I’ve felt firsthand what depression and despair can do to an individual and their loved ones; there will be so many questions from those closest but they are questions that can never be answered. Time does heal wounds but the scars will always remain. it is most important for those closest to him to seek outside guidance for the unanswerable questions will burn a hole in their heart.
This is beautiful and I am sorry for your loss….Depression is a terrible and scary thing. I wish we all could honor each other like this every day, rather than wait until tragedy makes us stop and know how important we all are to one another….
Olivier, what a great tribute to Trey. You speak for so many of us, that knew him and thought the world of him! He inspired respect, admiration and quickly we felt connected…what a mentor he was to many of us!
we will miss you Trey,
Olivier, Trey would have been touched by your words…
Olivier, thank you for writing this post, and for sharing your personal thoughts and feelings on this very sad occasion. For many of us who only knew Trey professionally and through his social stream, it honours the humanity of the man. I’m so sorry for your loss and my sincerest condolences to Trey’s family and friends.
So sorry for your loss; our loss… speechless… thank you for sharing.
Thank you for finding the words.
Uh! Don’t know what to say… I didn’t know he passed… he was such a great guy.
This is awful news. He just wrote on my wall yesterday. God, this sucks.
Olivier thank you for responding earlier today, it has been a long day, a tiring day and a heartfelt sad day.
What I am getting out of all of this ( because I know Trey would want us to see the side that improves us all) is that because he touched our hearts, we owe it to ourselves and Trey to Live our Brilliance.
Each time things get hard to call a friend, to take a walk, to meditate and ask for the Universe to give us the strength to stand in our brilliance.
That is a fitting tribute to Trey.
Olivier, Nicely written post. Never met the guy in person myself. Not much else I can say other than that I’m sorry for the pain this obviously causes you.
That’s a beautiful tribute, O. My heart and condolences go out to you and his family. I mostly knew him online but just from that you could tell, you know, that he was … different. You know what I mean so I won’t ramble. Wish I could give you a sisterly hug. One day I will.
The kindest, down to earth person I have ever met. I was nervous when I first met him. However, I felt like we were friends instantly. Great post.
Incredibly beautiful tribute Olivier. Hope to meet you soon IRL. Perhaps Wed at Jays vigil
I am so sorry for your loss. Our world could use more rather than less men like Trey.
My heart goes out to you, and to all those touched from a fantastic man and friend. I didn’t know him (except through social media exchange). Sharing the hurt and tears. I dont know what to say.
Heartbreaking… Watching it all unfold has been miserable for everyone, especially those closest to Trey like you Olivier, Jay and others.
God bless Trey’s family, his friends both virtual and real…
A beautiful tribute and such a loss to so many– thanks so much for sharing this album of photos and the beautiful memories of a special man
Olivier, thank you for sharing this. Snippets, memories, loss… and the photos. Heartbreaking indeed. Condolences.
So sorry for your – and the world’s – loss.
What a lovely and loving post. Please accept my condolences though I know they won’t deaden the pain.
Beautifully written tribute…heart-breaking…I’m so sorry…there are no words.
Beautiful Olivier. I didn’t know him well, but what I did know was special and I knew he was special. When I read the news this morning my heart stopped in frozen time. After reading the endless messages of tribute and sadness of his passing it is just hard to comprehend the reality of it.
My heart goes out to all who knew him well for I cannot fathom your pain.
I never got the chance to read much of Trey Pennington’s writing. I just knew the name, know I know the man and well as the name.
Your loved Olivier.
Such a sweet tribute, thanks Olivier.
Thanks for saying this Olivier. Heartbreak indeed.
I’m still floored and I can’t find words…I couldn’t properly place them if I had them. I’m glad that you do and that you did Olivier. Thank you for shining a light for those of us who didn’t know Trey as you did. I am truly sorry for your loss.
I love that photo of you two in front of the statue of Richard Hooker. It’s a sad day.
Touching and beautiful written he’s in the air you breath <|;-)
Olivier, thank you for sharing your heart. Trey was a blessing to everyone who knew him – and many people he never met. His departure is a huge personal loss for many of us, who will struggle to make sense of it as we cherish every moment we had in his presence – online and off.
Thank you for this heartfelt post. I’m speechless. Prayers and peace to his family and friends.
The first thing I thought after hearing about Trey and his family was the community. What would it be like if it happened to my community. It would affect us all. I am glad you stepped up. It was needed. Your are a good writer and writing helps. Thanks for the words. The pictures too. I didn’t know Trey well at all. I know him better now in death. No judgment only truth. I noticed the USAT sticker on his computer. I didn’t know he did TRI’s. We may have done a race together. I believe he entered the Westpoint Tri in 2008. I won my age group 44-46 (fastest race I ever had at that distance-nailed all the splits) So what does it mean? Nothing, it was fun, the rewards were nice but it was all a passing goal with little real value other then the kind that happens to feed our soul. Upon further reflection I know he did more than a few in Georgia. So we raced together. Focused on ourselves and all the training that went into the race to cut a few seconds off the swim, a few minutes off the bike and perhaps a few more for the run. What could he have been training on to take him down another path. Was this inevitable? I am not one to say. I can say the world would be better and he would have a buckets of support if he called for it….help that is. Guys dont call for it though. This is just a comment from a guy who hopes this happens in a few hundred years. Last year the 9th graders at North view lost a kid to suicide(the entire family lost him) He was a saint-it sucked hard! Grief counselors help but we need parents and friends to step up too.
I’m so very sorry, Olivier.
I never met Trey or heard him present. Your post and the photos help those of us who did not know him personally get an inside look. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend.
Well said Bro. I can’t believe it still. I just can’t believe it.
What a beautiful tribute to a special man. Thank you, Olivier. My condolences. Keeping Trey’s family and friends in my thoughts and prayers tonight.
Writing a gut wrenching, heart breaking post about a talented, gentle sweet spirited friend gone too soon is not something any us think we will need to write. I’m sorry for your loss. Many feel the pain of this loss who knew Trey or met him briefly. I’m thankful he had you by his side on these wonderful trips. I’m thankful your friendship made him smile and laugh. I’m thankful he had you to listen to his stories. I’m thankful you shared this with us. My thoughts are with you. I cannot filter this news. Life changing events get our attention, make us sit up straight or take life more seriously….this news threw me to the floor.
Well said
Olivier,
After today – and especially right now after reading this – I don’t have the words to express to you how grateful I am that someone of your ridiculously good talent could capture Trey the way you have in this post. It is a gift to everyone who loved him and is something that I will print and always keep. It’s equally heart wrenching and beautiful. Thank you for the friendship you provided to Trey and for what it meant to him. He spoke of you often. I’m sorry for your loss, as well. I really am.
Trey’s brother,
Erick Pennington
I’m so sorry, Erick…
Olivier & Erick
I could not sleep last night…my heart ached for wondering why? I can not even imagine the pain he must have felt…then I found this post and I started to see post from all over the world, it even made the WSJ this morning. One thing is for certain the Good in Trey touched many and most likely more than he even knew in life. My earnest prayer is that this legacy of Trey will live for a long time and quickly overshadow the sadness of that Sunday morning so that it is nothing more than a vague footnote of a Kind and humble man, who always made me laugh.
Kim
So very sad, Olivier. Trey was such a good person. I’m in shock, to be honest.
I’m so sorry, Olivier. My heart goes out to you and to the many people, near and far, whose lives Trey touched in some way.
I’m so sorry for you and all of those who loved him. I wish there were something profound for me to say but words are not adequate at a time like this. You wrote a moving tribute that helped me know him a bit more. For that, I thank you, Olivier.
Prayers for you and all of Trey’s close friends as well as his family and community. Shortly after a dialogue on Twitter, Trey and Jay opened up their podcast to me and helped me promote my book. That kind of selflessness is incredible – and something we should all pay forward in his memory.
Beautiful. Once a friend. Now an angel. So sorry for your heartbreak. This is just really awful. Loved your tribute.
So so sorry for your loss and of course the loss to the family of Trey. I had recently met him and spoke with him briefly at Likeable Media U. I was taken aback by his sincere kindness and peaceful demeanor. Such a loss for so many as he really reached out and taught so many so much. Thank you Olivier for sharing your personal experience with him.
Feeling a little odd with this post, but when something weighs on my heart… I don’t want to withhold… I too have struggled… I have been hurt. I have been “disciplined out” of a church body for not having “Biblical grounds” for an action I took for the betterment of my family. As I have struggled, God has brought me through – and I now wish I had shared my journey more openly – perhaps Trey could have benefitted…? I’ll never know. If anyone is struggling, and feeling despair, there may be a crack in the foundation of your spiritual life — there certainly was in mine. Years past, I have sought wisdom of those older and wiser… I found a book on my bookshelf I bought several years ago. It is titled “Soul Repair” (Jeff VanVonderen and Dale & Juanita Ryan). READ IT. When we first encounter God, we are a clean slate – fresh from the mire, and filled with all the wonderment of forgiveness and grace… but as we fail in our attempts to be righteous… our performance driven instincts bring shame and fear into the situation. Unfortunately, many churches and leaders play on fear and shame to manipulate. God operates out of love and grace. Sounds a bit fluffy, but I don’t think it is. Just read another book that I found on my bookshelf. “Conversations with C.S. Lewis” AMAZING read… the cover looks HORRIBLE… ignore it. And be ready with your thinking cap, because, this man was no shallow pond.
Olivier, I am so deeply sorry for your loss… I know you and Trey were close. Maybe not everyday… but your relationship was obviously meaningful to both of you. I am praying for your wound. I know this was a blow.
Friends always,
Jess
Oliver, you’re known as The Brand Builder. Today you write as a Friend Builder, whose heartache is raw, honest and true. While I hadn’t yet met Trey in person, we spoke of it on many an occasion, we would have sweet tea and swap stories. In reading your personal journey of friendship, those who hadn’t met him yet now know the best of him. A tribute to friendship, you honor him. Thanks for sharing.
Weird I left a comment hours ago but it did not post.
Olivier what I want folks to remember is what Trey stood for.
He was all about connecting and community. I remember two years ago when I found out I would be visiting a friend in South Carolina, he immediately introduced me to 4-5 people in Greenville. You two were both traveling and speaking at the time.
I listened to his interview we did last year again today. For some it may seem morbid, for me it was a way to hear his loving voice and his charming way he expressed himself. He had a way of being honest yet gracious.
Trey loved his family, every time we talked we laughed about the things our kids did ( from a parents perspective). We were both proud of our grandchildren.
No matter what we think or say, we can not change what happened. What we can do is live the life Trey would have wanted for all of us. He wanted people to live in their truth, in their love and in their own skin. He truly cared about people and I will remember that each time I play with my grandchildren I will hug them a little tighter with Trey in mind telling my friend Here is a hug for you Trey.
Trey you added something to all our lives and I am very grateful for the time we did share, you helped me and Olivier connect and I miss you.
Sorry about that. Just fished it out of the spam filter. It happens.
Thanks for the kind words.
Olivier, you are a wonderful and genuine man. Thank you for sharing your photo’s with all of us as you can really see the kindness in Trey through them. You have been there for me (whether you realized how important your support was to me) and it’s grieves me to see you lose a friend so loved….
love to you and to Trey’s family, friends and associates,
Laura
Olivier, this is such a beautiful tribute to a wonderful, genuine and so generous person. I didn’t know Trey as well as you but like you I found him immediately likeable and with such a contribution to make personally and professionally.
You have done us ALL a service by presenting these memories, photos and videos so we can get to know the person he was a little better.
All my heart goes out to his family and those who knew and loved him.
Thank you
Cathy
This is a beautiful story. Grief is the price you pay for love. I am sorry for the loss of your dar friend , Trey .
It hurts.
What a great tribute to a wonderful man. He will be missed but lives on in your memories and those of the lives he touched!
Oliver your tribute says much about Trey, about you and the need for true human compassion. Every day we ask “how are you?” and often the response is as meaningless as the question. It is times like this we gather thoughts and emotions and attempt to head in a new direction. Hopefully we will strive to ask and listen, sometimes even ask and listen again with compassionate hearts and thoughtful minds. I never had the pleasure of meeting Trey but like so many others felt his friendship through the impact he made on lives all over the planet. Thanks so much for sharing, we too share in this loss. He would want you to continue to serve strong as you are. Thank you.
Thank you so much Oliver for this deep felt post. I only knew the Trey he wanted the world to know. I have followed him for years and have learned so much from him. Only recently did I find out from a close friend of Trey’s how much he had been struggling. I lost a brother-in-law 3 years ago to depression and suicide. Death is difficult but death by suicide is something altogether different to understand and deal with. It is the result of someone losing all hope. Those who are left bear virtually every emotion from anger to betrayal to guilt to unbearable sadness. But ultimately, you remember who they were, what good they did and the impact they had on you. I am praying for Trey’s family as well as his very close friends like you. And thank you again for sharing. I must disagree with one comment, though. You said your heart wasn’t in it. That is all I saw.
I am very aware of what Trey meant to you. Writing this post must have been agony. Incredible task but you honour him by making such a great job of it. Thank you.
Olivier, sharing your thoughts in the community the way you did truly humanized for me a man I didn’t know, but now feel touched by, and by doing so seem to have walked his talk for all of us. Thank you.
Olivier, I am so sorry for the loss of Trey. I know you two were close and he said so many great things about you when we were speaking at the conference in Mexico. I am still in shock and saddened by the loss of such a caring, generous gentleman. You are so right. He was so unselfish and genuine. He will always be in our hearts. RIP Trey.
Olivier,
I read this yesterday. I met Trey via some of your tweets and had neat conversations with him. I will miss his tweets and it would have been great to have met him in person.
Thanks for taking the time in honoring a great guy.
Oliver,
When I heard of Trey’s death I immediately wondered how you are. Thank you for sharing and helping us to process.
With deepest heartsick condolences,
@JeanneMale
Thanks so much for this post Oliver. It is now a day later and I still can’t believe he is gone. It is so surreal. I wish I had been able to have grown my friendship with him.
Greg just showed this to me….
I’ll never forget how sweet and gentle Trey was, how giving and caring..I’m just in shock and wish I could rewind a few days and click on his name in Skype and ask how everything – really – is…
Trey was one of the genuinely nicest people I’ve ever met in my entire life..
I really hope you’re more or less OK, my friend. I was loud today, you were quiet. We all cope our own ways. Hug.
I’m here, just not really into being “social” today. It’s all good.
I’m glad Olivier. Get the social part. When you’re ready. PS: I wish you wouldn’t have to read the “mermaid” type of comments. Stopped reading and responding myself yesterday, it only makes it worse. Anger and grief have their limits.
Thanks for sharing Olivier, that was beautifully written and I’m so sorry for your loss of a dear friend. I discovered that yesterday was the start of Suicide Prevention Week and I felt that was a sign we should be doing something productive to help prevent suicide. I posted a note in FB with 11 recommendations of things we can do for Suicide Prevention, so perhaps his passing can save someone else.
Thank you Olivier – and our prayers are with you, Trey’s family, his friends, and everyone else in the world who is struggling. I honestly never knew Trey, and I feel terrible about knowing what an amazing person he was until after he was gone. Your post reminded me that we should be celebrating our friendships with others on a daily basis, because this thing called “life” is too fragile and fleeting in nature to take for granted…
Olivier, I think you beautifully captured your relationship with Trey during the first moments of a very difficult time. I only met Trey recently, but feel fortunate that I did get to spend time with him alone on both occasions and get to know the man.
He was one of those rare people you know is super-special, even after only having just met him. In our short time together, we talked about his kids, his travels, his love of cars, his past business, cheeseburgers, online/offline friendships and other things.
I will miss Trey and his Southern-charm. I feel for his children, his family and close friends such as you. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Absolutely tragic. Thanks for your post.
Thansk for putting your heart and soul into this! Thanks Olivier! It hurts BIG TIME!
Thanks for all of the heartfelt comments. You’re all wonderful.
I know that wasn’t easy Peg. Thank You for being brave and sharing that.
I don’t know Trey; I read about his death in the news. There are many comments on the web about Trey’s passing, including this one. As one who struggles with depression, I have come to realize the hard way the following. You can be the greatest person in the eyes of your colleagues and family, but if you spread yourself too thin, it becomes a lonely existence. You can’t travel the world and be the best in the business plus TCB at home – something is going to fall through the cracks and usually it is ones sanity. Lessons to be learned for all of us folks, if we choose to pay attention. Very few folks here have commented about his role as a husband and as a father to six – isn’t that ones most important role in life? It should be. it really makes me wonder if he was chasing the wrong dream. Take a lesson from Charles Dickens’ portrayal of Ebinizer Scrooge, a man who was successful in business and a failure in personal relationships. Put down your electronics people and cherish those in your life – your loved ones. Friends in business are fleeting.
The “electronics” had nothing to do with it.
Here’s a thought: Trey’s circumstances are not your circumstances. He wasn’t a case study in depression or misguided goals or misaligned priorities. His death isn’t a vehicle for your puny little self-important ego to dissect for whatever audience you feel the need to invent for yourself. You don’t know the first thing about his life, his career, who he was as a man, as a husband, as a father. In fact, you don’t know shit. If you want to make my friend’s death about you, about your infinite wisdom, about your dime-store advice and your bullshit literary analysis, go do it somewhere else. Project all you want on your own blog or Facebook wall. Just don’t do it here. The smartest thing you wrote was “I don’t know Trey.” That was a good instinct. You could have done us all a favor, starting with Trey, by just leaving it at that.
I’m not sure there’s anything worse than someone who feels the need to impart their unsolicited self-important “wisdom” on the grieving before the dead has even had a chance to be laid to rest. You just compared my dead friend, someone you knew nothing about, to Scrooge. Failure in personal relationships? Shame on you. Shame on your self-absorbed, ego-driven little shit stain of a brain. You’re an embarrassment to the human race.
Fucking awesome Response Oliver.
And I so agree “YOU DON’T KNOW TREY!”
You don’t know the man that didn’t sleep when his daughter burnt herself, and stayed with her thru the night at the hospital…
He was the kindest, most caring, loving man around… ALWAYS thinking of others – his kids, and his friends…
An absolute gift. Maybe if you’d met him he may have opened your heart to the good essence you could become…
No point in saying more…
Olivier. You are the real deal brother. I have goose bumps reading that response. And tears in my eyes. Love your friend. Honor him.
Respect. Always.
As usual, so well written and as everyone has already said, a more than appropriate tribute to a great man! His impact on people could fill volumes! I hope there is a lesson here for all of us to stop, look and listen to our friends and acquaintances and to help when we can and simply be understanding when we cannot. Years from now we will all tell stories about a wonderful person we know who lived in Greenville South Carolina and impacted people all over the world.
I haven’t commented on any of these yet. I haven’t been able to. After the shock has passed, this was the one I needed to ‘be at’.
I only got to sit next to Trey a few times at dinner and chat at a few events, however I got the chance to indulge in that wonderful southern drawl and even more wonderful insight into humans (it wasn’t marketing, it wasn’t social fucking media, it was how we all relate to each other). This man made his mark on me. He was insightful, inspirational and was the one that made me believe in stories again. His charm, charisma, gentleness and ability to make me feel welcome was wonderful. Actually welcome doesn’t cut it, Trey made you feel the focus whenever he spoke to you. Few people have that.
So thank you Olivier for this post. Big hugs and love for what must be an even bigger loss for you. And a big RIP to a wonderful, wonderful man. I hope you now have peace my friend xxx
Thank you for your beautifully heartfelt article. Trey was sensitive, compassionate and caring. There was a sense of innocence or maybe, a softness, about him. Trey and I had some wonderful conversations and I considered him a friend. I am so sorry for your loss.
Olivier, I’m so sorry you lost such a good friend – my heart hurts for you. I met Trey a few times and was impressed with his passion for the social media and how it could connect us all so profoundly in professional and personal ways like we had never seen before. I am sad for the friends who loved him, his family – mostly his children. Our world – and community – has lost a good person. May his legacy live on…. Thank you for posting this, and again sorry for your loss.
Olivier, he loved you as you loved him… wonderful tribute, thank you for sharing. The world is darker without his light….
Much love, Rhonda Leigh Norsby
I read your post earlier today, Rhonda. I am so sorry for your loss.
Olivier, I’m so sorry for the loss of you friend.
It’s been 22 years since I literally and figuratively cleaned up the mess when my brother shot himself.
It still hurts. I’m still mad.
I think the hardest thing for me to deal with at the time was the stupid things people said.
Let yourself feel how you feel. Try not to let the ridiculous things people say get in the way of your grieving.
Thank you for that, Anne. Good timing.
I’m so very saddened to hear about the loss of Trey. I didn’t know him… but the last couple of days I’ve been reading more and more about him and I feel like I do now. I cannot fathom the pain of losing someone in this way — so abruptly. My deepest sympathy goes out to all family and friends. It is apparent he touched so many lives. If only that reality would have helped him carry the weight that was on his shoulders. May God be with you all and give you great comfort during this time.
–@terracecrawford
What a shock and loss, hopefully we can take inventory and while we are grieving make a space for reflection and the courage to find the help we need… whatever that looks like.
Your perspecitve adds dimension to Trey Pennington, the real man. I only “knew” him online. I feel your loss and will pray for you and all of Trey’s friends.
Sorry doesn’t cut it so I won’t even try. A beautiful tribute to a beautiful friend says more than any of us good. I wish you peace.
Olivier, I just can’t imagine the amount of “trollism” I have seen over the last two days, and as we go into this week, I am sure it will only increase. Thanks for standing so tall against it here in the comments. It isn’t about them.
Very true. Respect.
I haven’t been impressed with a number of people and “fellow bloggers” this week. Between the jackasses openly exploiting this to get some attention and be “part of the story,” and dickheads throwing in their psychobabble 2-cents into the fray, it’s been a little difficult. Luckily, most of you guys are good people. Compassionate, caring human beings. Times like this reveal people’s true natures.
Good seeing you at the service this morning, even though it was from a distance.
Great post… It was very sad to hear the news. I met Trey at the first Likeminds conference in Exeter, UK 2009. He also visited us in Bristol, UK for the Media 140 event last year. I remember I had quite a long chat with him about iPhone and Android. He was a very warm-hearted person and the Social Media scene will miss him greatly. I learned a lot from him (especially what he said about ‘story-telling’)…
We will miss him…..
Dear Olivier,
I too am one of those people who just came across the news of Trey’s death on Twitter, but it has rocked me deeply. Reading your personal tribute to him just puts a more human face on him and brings home the sadness even more acutely. I’m so sorry for your loss, and of course for that of his family. I have experienced the death of a number of important people in my life, and I know better than many the dark and quiet finality of the loss of a loved one…
I know many people are being affected by this, and as we all struggle to deal with what his death and death in general means to us, I will share one small insight from my own experience. A good friend once offered me the thought that the depth of grief I felt at the loss of my husband was equal to the joy and love we shared during our lives together. By allowing myself to feel and express it, I was in fact paying tribute to that great love.
The joy and grief go hand in hand. Sadly, we do not get one without the other. It is life, and you are embracing it. My heart is truly with you right now, cuz this part kinda sucks.
Sending love,
Deborah
Hi Olivier. thanks for this. I have followed both you and Trey Pennington for years. I have respected the opinion, the knowledge and thought leadership that both of you have brought to this new media. Early on I was as close to a patron on Twitter as well as on your blogs. It brought me where I am today, always questioning the nascency of practices, processes that accompanies social. I owe that, in part, to people like Trey and yourself. It saddens me that someone who had a lot to give was suffering so much and the world didn’t know it. It’s harder to display this online…. or should I say, it’s easier to mask the reality, especially online. What he has given to this world is nothing short of genius. I won’t belabour this since you have so eloquently said it all above. Thanks for the heart-wrenching tribute. RIP Trey Pennington.
Olivier my heart goes out to you, and to Jeff, and everyone who knew and called Trey a friend.
A gorgeous tribute, Olivier. I’ve resisted commenting because I just don’t know what to say, so I’ll keep it simple and say that I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. In the handful of interactions I had with Trey, I found him to be a genuinely kind and gracious man. We should all be so lucky as to inspire others, as he did you, to be better, kinder and gentler. Please take care.
Olivier – I was offline all weekend and just heard. So sorry for your loss. Your post is a great tribute.
Beautiful and sad. Just remember there is more left of Trey…he has 6 kids and a couple of grandkids. If you want to honor him, do so through them.
Having lost my father as a child, the best gifts to me have been the stories shared with me of my father and how honorable he was. It means alot.
Olivier, deepest sympathies to you, Jeffrey Jacob, and everyone who knew and called Trey a friend.
Dear Olivier,
I am so sorry to hear about the lost of your friend Trey Pennington.
Memories are ones to be cherished. Friendships are never to be forgotten. Cd
Olivier – my sympathies are with you. Thank you for defying the pain of loss and sharing your experience and memories with us.
Olivier – I’m so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, it seems that all the great ones leave us too soon. In time, I wish you peace in your heart.
I didn’t know him. I never even heard of Trey Pennington and was sitting around thinking of what a selfish and self centered person he must have been to have committed suicide. After reading your post, I feel much differently. I cannot begin to imagine what such a wonderful person must have been going through to come to this end. Reading such genuine thoughts from a true friend of his changed my whole perspective on the matter. Thank you for that.
I have said that it doesn’t matter who is here to see you come into this world, as much as it is who sees you go out. When he spoke about truly loving offline friends, I’m sure he was speaking of you. I wish for you, and all who was touched by his life, a lighter heart. Keep the light on!
=)
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