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Archive for the ‘inventory’ Category

37

This day in 1971, I was forcibly removed from my mother’s womb by an unscrupulous “clope au bec” French OBGYN with a fetish for smelling dog’s feet and slapped on the ass by a jaded and prickly old nurse with a nasty ether habit. Or so the story goes.

Let’s take an inventory of the last 37 years, shall we?

Places where I’ve lived:
Paris, France
Abidjan, Ivory Coast
Brussels, Belgium
Madrid, Spain
Landrum, SC (USA)
Lorient, France
Bram, France
Cannes, France
Greenville, SC (USA)

Countries I’ve visited (in addition to the above, obviously):
UK, Luxemburg, Holland, Denmark, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Italy, Bosnia, Monaco, Senegal, Egypt, Djibouti, UAE, Saudi Arabia, Canada, Bahamas, Mexico.

Jobs I’ve had (in no particular order):
Naval Officer, Photographer, Copywriter, Product Manager, Sandwich Artist, Professional student, Ranch Hand, Retail Monkey, Carpenter, door-to-door Salesman, Sales Manager, Brand Manager, Marketing Director, Marketing Consultant, Magazine Editor, blogger.

Time spent sleeping: 12 years, 4 months
Time spent working: 5 years
Time sitting in front of the TV: 5 years
Pounds of food consumed: 15,000
Liters (of various beverages) consumed: 28,000
Words written or typed: Somewhere north of 9,000,000.
Cars owned: 5
Bicycles owned: 14

Here’s to another year biting the dust.

photo: yours truly with the paternal grandparent unit. Paris, circa 1980.

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