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Archive for the ‘brand promise’ Category

Dear UPS,

I don’t mind when you try to deliver a package after 8pm instead of… you know… typical delivery hours. I get it: Your driver had a busy day and he is working extra long hours to make sure I get my package today instead of tomorrow. I can’t fault you for going the extra mile. Kudos to you. I appreciate it.

But here’s the thing: When the note you leave on my door says that you will come back AFTER 5pm the next day to try again, at least TRY to stick to that little scheduling contract between us that you took the time to draft. See, I rearranged my schedule to make sure I would be here when you said you would be back. The least you can do is keep up your side of the bargain, right? … Right?

But this is what you just did: On 4/14, you tried to deliver a package after 8pm, taking a chance that I would be there. The note you left on my door said you would come back on 5/15 after 5pm. Check out the circled “FRI” (Friday) and “After 5:00” boxes in the image below:

Today is 5/15, so I made sure to be here by 4:30 pm, just in case you were a little early. Here is what my watch said ten minutes after getting home:

But guess what: You had already come by. When did you knock on my door, UPS? 2:00pm? 3:00pm? 4:00pm? Weren’t you supposed to come by AFTER 5pm? What’s the deal?

Your new note (see below) says you will try for the third and final time on 4/18 (MON) between 2pm and 5pm. See the checked boxes in the image below:

My question to you is… when exactly should I be here waiting for you on Monday: 8am? 10pm? Should I wait for you at all? Does Monday really mean Tuesday? Or tomorrow – Saturday?

This wouldn’t be a big deal if it didn’t happen regularly, and not just to me.

So… UPS, while I enjoy your cool “logistics” ad campaign, I want to bring to your attention the reality of your… “logistics” out here on the receiving end of your business, courtesy of CollegeHumor.com:

(If the video doesn’t play for you, go watch it here.)

Do you think that video would have been made if it weren’t a widespread problem? Maybe something you should look into?

And yes, just in case you were wondering, I have nothing better to do than play “wait for the delivery man” with you all day.  All week, even. Know what I mean? Me and tens of thousands of increasingly annoyed customers looking at FedEx instead of Brown.

Why are we all looking for an alternative? Because every time you waste our time AND don’t deliver on your most basic promises, you give us a reason not to trust you… and to stop doing business with you. I really want to like you. I do. But you’re making it pretty hard. Think about how many people and businesses you turn away like this every day. Every week. Every month. Every year. How much is this inability to keep your word, this chronic “let’s annoy our customers as much as possible by not delivering when we say we will” really costing you? Think about it.

So here’s an idea: Either make sure you deliver parcels when you say you will, or, if you can’t work that into your “logistics,” just leave the date and time blank on your delivery notices. The operational lesson here: If you can’t figure out how to deliver on schedule yet, at least do us the courtesy of not wasting our time.

Kthxbye.

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I wanted to write an epic post about my experiences in Dubai last week (and I may yet), but instead let me just say this, because it’s on my mind:

It’s a big world out there. Those of you trying to be the next Seth Godin, the next Tony Robbins, the next Peter Drucker, you’re wasting your time. They’re all great people. They know their stuff. And they are very good at being Seth Godin, Tony Robbins and Peter Drucker, but you’re chasing the wrong dream. You’re wasting your time. And you’re acting like a complete jackass trying to be something (and someone) you are not.

Let me explain. I spent last week listening to two three types of people:

The first had problems they needed to solve – How do I get more customers? How do I keep my customers from abandoning me? How do I grow my program? How do I bring more investment into my country? How do I secure 5% more market share? How do I change perceptions? How do I accelerate adoption of my technology?

The second had ideas, some of which might very well solve some of the problems brought up by the first category. These were smart, intuitive, compassionate, clever little entrepreneurs with warm smiles and dependable handshakes. People who watch and listen more than they speak. People who solve rather than sell. People who care more about results for their clients and customers than their own fame or status. I like those guys. We get along. We find in each other a common trait, and every meeting feels a lot like running into an old friend.

And then there was the third type. The salesmen. The people selling crap nobody needs. The guys who talk more than they listen. The guys who haven’t had an original thought in over a decade but still think their limited view of the world is more relevant than that of a 20-something tapped into his demographic. The guys who can step off a jumbo jet, spend less than 24 hours in a foreign country – most of which they spent hiding in their hotel rooms – and tell everyone there how to fix all their problems. The guys who think that because they wrote a book twenty years ago, they are now infallible one-man think tanks. The guys who start believing their own PR, or their own “press,” as they say. Here’s a reality you need to come to terms with: If you started off selling bullshit, your bullshit doesn’t magically turn into gold a few books and a couple of decades later.

Be careful what you decide to sell today, boys and girls, because you might still be selling it twenty years from now. And what you sell ends up defining you a lot more than you realize.

Don’t put all your eggs in the celebrity consultant basket. That gig isn’t what you think.  Don’t go there unless you want to reach the end of your “career” as a punch-line. There’s far less money in it than you think, and no dignity whatsoever. What’s worse is this: Instead of being the guy who spent his career solving problems for the first category of person I mentioned here today, instead of creating legitimate value, you end up spending the best years of what could have been a fruitful career selling something that people don’t need: Your “personal brand.” Put a lid on that little ego trip right now, before it swallows you whole.

What you should focus on is this: Being the second kind of person mentioned above. The kind that listens more and speaks less. The kind that cares about doing a great job. The kind with an eye for positive change. The kind that doesn’t spend every waking moment trying to sell themselves to conferences, to publishers, to CNN, to whomever might be dumb enough not to see through the shameless self-promotion. It doesn’t mean you won’t speak at conferences and won’t be published. It doesn’t mean you won’t get to travel to cool places every few months if that’s what you want to do. What it means is that if you focus on being that second type of person, if you focus on improving the lives (and businesses of others) instead of focusing on improving your brand, status and personal myth of success, you might actually get it all. Everything you’ve ever wanted. And as a bonus, you won’t spend the next twenty years being a parasite.

The world needs you to stop focusing so much on yourself and to turn that brilliant little mind of yours outward instead of inward. Every company in the world is struggling right now. Companies in every country, from the US to Senegal, and from Australia to the Emirates are looking for help, for solutions, for insights. The last thing they need from you or anyone else is more bullshit. There’s already more than enough of that for everyone to choke on ten times over. They need real help. They need that second category of person: Problem-solvers. Dependable helpers. True partners. Be that. That’s where the value is, not in selling your “personal brand,” your trademarked 10-rules or 20-step program, certification or cookie-cutter ROI calculator. The value of that is zero. Zip. Stop it.

Instead, try this on for size: Get off the “I want to be a social media rock star” train and start helping. I swear your career prospects will improve FAST. Not only that, but you will rediscover how good it feels to be part of something bigger and greater than “me, Inc.”, to see your efforts improve the lives of other people, not just your own. True success comes to those on this path, not on the other. Starting as soon as you can wrap your head around this idea, focus on solving real problems. If they involve social media, great. If they don’t, so what? It’s a big world out there. Social media and the US fishbowl are only a very small little sliver of it.

Think bigger. The world needs you to.

 

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This. Is. Brilliant. Every time someone does a piece like this, I find myself grinning ear to ear.

First, some attribution: The piece, published by www.boredpanda.com is tagged as a guest post by Dario D., who first published his images on his own site www.alphaila.com. I recommend that you check them both out for the full feature. Well worth a few minutes of your time.

The premise (from Dario):

So, I went to some fast food places (I won’t say “restaurants”, just “places”), and picked up burgers/tacos, so I could compare them with the ads.

I brought the “food” home (different stuff over 3 nights), tossed it into my photography studio, and did some ad-style shoots (with pictures of the official ads on my computer next to me, so I could match the lighting/angles/etc).

The result, of course is a set of gems (go see them all) that includes this other killer side by side dose of reality:

Dario goes on:

Don’t ask me how this advertising is legal. […] I happily pitch the idea that lawmakers are committing a crime against us people by allowing us to be continually insulted by this advertising […]  in defiance of human perception.

He has a point. The pictures don’t lie.

Compare this kind of advertising to anything else: Cars, candy, clothing, drinks, watches, laptops, tennis rackets, video games, etc.. Most products, when depicted in photographs used for marketing purposes are pretty close to what you can expect to get. In this particular industry, however, not so much.

Remember the scene from the movie “Falling Down,” back in the post Reagan 1990’s, in which Michael Douglas’ character (as mentally imbalanced as he may be) throws a fit over this very affront to human intelligence. Fast-forward to 04:06, towards the end of the clip to see what happens. Take a look:

If you have time, watch the whole scene from the beginning. It’s a classic.

The lesson here isn’t that false advertising exists, or that fast food companies are sometimes unethical with their marketing. The lesson is this: Promises matter. The degree to which customers’ expectations are met is the currency by which a brand’s worth is measured. In the era of social media, global word-of-mouth, and in markets where the abundance of choices can send yesterday’s market leaders careening into a pit of obsolescence, the foundations upon which you build your brand’s future cannot be based on institutionalized broken promises. Breeding cynicism about your products is just not good policy.

Now apply this thinking to your business. Put your marketing through the same test. Does it pass muster, or like these images above, is there a gap between promise and delivery?

Now ask yourself this: Which do you believe is the better choice to build a sustainable brand: Disappointing customers, or delighting them?

PS: Social Media “gurus,” consultants and “certifying bodies,” take a long hard look at what you are selling, and how you are selling it.

Cheers,

Olivier

Additional resources: This post’s grandaddy (click here).

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