Today is Bastille Day – which is how the rest of the world calls France’s “Fete Nationale,” or simply “le 14 Juillet.”
This day in 1789, the people of Paris stormed the Bastille (Louis XVI’s political prison) and started down a road that eventually led to France becoming a Republic, just a few short years after the United States of America.
Joyeux Anniversaire, Republique Francaise. I miss not being there for your birthday anymore.
Ah, the Champs-Elysee.
One of the grandest sights on the planet. *sigh*
I need to go back to Europe……
And we had good weather for a change.
And now I’m jonesing for a fresh croissant. Great.
“France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes.” —Mark Twain
“I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.” —General George S. Patton
“Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.” —Norman Schwartzkopf
“We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.” —Marge Simpson
“As far as I’m concerned, war always means failure.” —Jacques Chirac, President of France
“As far as France is concerned, you’re right.” —Rush Limbaugh
“The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee.” —Regis Philbin
“The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don’t know.” —P.J O’Rourke (1989)
“You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn’t have the face for it.” —John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona
“They’ve taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house.” —Argus Hamilton
“The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.” —Dennis Miller
“I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac.” —Dennis Miller
“You know why the French don’t want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He IS French, people.” —Conan O’Brien
“I don’t know why people are surprised that France won’t help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn’t help us get the Germans out of France!” —Jay Leno
“The last time the French asked for ‘more proof,’ it came marching into Paris under a German flag.” —David Letterman
How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.
An old saying: Raise your right hand if you like the French…. Raise both hands if you are French.
Next time there’s a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.
Coming from someone who has never worn a military or police uniform, never picked up a gun to protect someone, never risked life and/or limb to protect your own country, never seen the senseless carnage of war, and probably never traveled to Europe or Africa or Asia, you seem to have some pretty self-righteous opinions about things you know nothing about.
Yes, the French hate war. Of course they do. It’s called having brains. If you had ever fought a war or even driven through one, you would too. War isn’t pretty. It isn’t glorious. War sucks. People get killed. Women. Children. Young boys who happen to be someone’s sons or brothers or husbands or fathers. People get burned alive and torn to pieces and they die horrible painful deaths. And for what? Usually, for no good reason at all. War should always be THE LAST RESORT.
Is this news to you? Maybe. Who knows. You’ve lived a pretty pampered life, so I guess I should forgive your ignorance… but it’s pretty hard given that I have friends in combat zones right now – American, French and Italian, so I can’t be as cavalier about the topic of war as you.
Here’s a little life lesson for ya: Just because you can kick a country’s ass doesn’t mean you should. Especially when it turns out that you really can’t. And particularly when you don’t really have a good reason to go to war with it in the first place.
Speaking of which, people like you are the reason why countries get into unnecessary wars. France is a much older country, so we learned this a long time ago. Napoleon kind of helped cure us of our thirst for macho war bullshit, and the carnage of WWI definitely cemented our hatred for warfare. We have a pretty country and good lives. Why ruin it all on a pissing contest? Seriously. What’s the point? We have better food, better wine, better art, better sex, better architecture… Must we be the most aggressive people too? Do we have to prove our military superiority and courage at every turn? Nope. We’re more mature than that. We remember war. We remember the cost of war. We have better things to do with our resources than fight wars against enemies that are no threat to us. If you think that makes us cowards, look up the definition. We’d rather spend our tax money on infrastructure. You know… like modern public transportation, bridges that don’t collapse, free medical care for the needy, social security that doesn’t go bankrupt, clean energy, museums, public schools that work, that kind of stuff.
As for our surrender in WWII, it wasn’t a French decision. We elected the wrong leader and HE surrendered. He was the coward. The responsibility was his to bear, and his alone. Petain was a traitor to France and was treated as such after the war. Learn your history before you start throwing stones. You don’t know shit. Even after the government’s surrender, the French organized an underground movement you may have heard of: The “Resistance” without which D-Day wouldn’t have been possible. Talk to these guys about cowardice. Some of them are still alive. You should reach out to some of them and actually learn something. I’ll be happy to translate.
But back to Iraq, which started this whole French cowardice propaganda: Is the world safer now that we’ve killed Saddam? Is America safer? Are you seeing cheap gas at the pump? What did you get out of your courageous war against Iraq? Has Bin Laden been captured yet? Does anyone really fear the US military anymore, now that we’ve basically shown that we can’t even stabilize a country like Iraq? That we can be baited into attacking the wrong country? Are you serious?
When the French opposed an action in Iraq, it was because we knew better. We understood the culture and the history of the region and KNEW it was going to turn into this mess. Moreover, Saddam presented zero threat to anyone. But the neocons saw in the French position their own isolation in the world scene and turned on the French to discredit their logic and disguise it as cowardice. And you bought it, hook, line and sinker. Well done, genius.
I guess in your mind, if the French are cowards for not going to war in Iraq, the US is pretty badass for stepping up to the challenge? Really? That’s how you justify going to war? How old are you again?
Go take a walk through Walter Reed in DC. Then we can talk about France’s decision not to back up your plan to invade Iraq.
If crapping on the French makes you feel better about yourself, be my guest. Laugh at the Swiss too while you’re at it. And the Dutch. And most of Europe. I bet you think they’re all a bunch of pussies too, what with all their culture and whatnot. Skinny little shits with euro-gay clothes and baguettes and Vespa scooters. All those gorgeous women over there. How do they live with themselves? Seriously. Pansies, all of them. Smelly, tree-hugging, bisexual commies, right?
Tell you what: Next time French Commandos go rescue one of your units in Afghanistan, I hope it won’t screw up your world view too much. We’ll keep it out of your news media, just to save you from the embarrassment of having to be saved by the cowardly French.
Just because France didn’t fall for your numbnuts “WMD evidence” bullshit doesn’t make us cowards: It makes us less dumb than you, FU. We fight terrorism in Afghanistan, around the world and in Europe. Quietly. Effectively. Our military is supremely professional. We don’t have billions of dollars to spend on fighting wasteful wars. There are better ways of getting things done.
Not wanting to get dragged into a war that had ZERO to do with terrorism means we want to stay focused on the task at hand. We didn’t care about Saddam because he never posed a threat to anyone but his own people. He was the Middle East’s bar room wife-beating braggard. The loud guy who talks a big game but doesn’t really have anything to back up his big mouth.
Kind of like you, but with a moustache and bigger huevos.
If you are so convinced that the US needs to send troops to Iraq and you are so morally superior to the French – not to mention more courageous, why don’t YOU enlist and go fight evil-doers yourself instead of letting others do it for you? What are you doing Stateside, stuffing your face with fat-free brownies and freedom fries, and wasting time posting dipshit comments on my blog when you could be exercising your god-given right to be a stars-and-stripes badass overseas?
It’s easy to talk about courage and cowardice safely tucked in your Chinese-made office chair, sitting at a desk in a climate controled building 9,000 miles from the nearest IED. If you had ever fought in a war, at least your opinion would matter and you wouldn’t be such a worthless pogue. Some of us did answer the call, picked up a gun and put in our time, so we at least know what we’re talking about. Where were you?
See, the problem with you is that you don’t get the difference between humor and reality. You think that somehow, these jokes are funny because they’re true. That’s why you’re a dumbass. And to top it all off, you think you’re being hurtful by posting them here.
Poor kid. I feel for ya. Must be hard being so ignorant.
Tell you what: Get off Facebook for half a breath and go crack a history book. You might actually learn something. Better yet, invest in a passport and go see the world. (You really need to get out of your daddy’s zip code.)
By the way, wordpress captures your IP, so not only do I know who you are, I also know what computer you posted your comment from. (Doh!) And you thought hiding behind a nondescript ‘FU’ alias would keep you safe. Good job, brainiac.
Next time you want to lecture me about cowardice, at least have the courage to sign your comment with your real name. The rest of us do. Even the French.
I must be honest I didn’t even know that the U.S. was trying to get you guys involved in this stupid war we are having with Iraq. and quit honestly I don’t think that it is Iraq we are supposed to be at war with. If I remember correctly it wasn’t even Iraq that attacked us. I believe and probably am wrong but I think that it was Iran that attacked us. Then again I don’t really follow all this war mumbo jumbo since I couldn’t even get into the military like I wanted to. I guess I just stopped following it after ever thing got confusing. hell I don’t even know who it is we should be fighting if we should even be fighting anyone. I believe in fighting for your country, but I think this war has gotten way out of hand. I think that is where our president went wrong. but that’s just my opinion. I admit I’m a bit on the ignorant side of the whole war thing. so maybe I shouldn’t even be submitting this. Oh well
Favorite country in the world after my home country (USA). Hopefully I’ll be able to go to France one day, though of course I need to learn French of course, be disrespectful to go to another country not knowing their language. I’m hoping to be able to see some of the older monuments, as well as of course, things like the Eiffel Tower and Versailles and the different cities, the old aqueducts, some of the old battle sites. Would be a pretty good trip, though unfortunately I’m still rather young, only 16, so not entirely independent enough to make it yet.
The Bastille day parades online are pretty cool too, enjoy watching them
@ User FU
In addition to which, if you’re from America, which sounds like you would be (You have the whiff of one of the “Real American” people who don’t know anything about any other countries after all….. or America either really) then you pretty much owe your entire existence of our nation to France. Without our French allies (And they are allies, and good ones, despite what the fools scattered around the nation think) America would have had an immensely more difficult and possible non-succesful revolution. Without the technology France has developed over the centuries there would have been no internet without the developments they made in math, you’re probably on a laptop so no batteries, none of the motion picture developments and photography that would lead to your computer screen, immensely poorer materials science without their chemistry advances, not to mention the advancements in flight technology that would eventually lead to so much of our modern globalized satellite communications technology. Without France, there would be no internet to criticize them on. The Patton Quote is a lie by the way. Not to mention that Napoleon would have smashed in you and the rest of the “Real American” folks in a second on a battlefield, and probably wouldn’t even need modern weaponry to do it. Joan of Arc alone could wipe out you and the rest of your ignorant folks who believe that just because a country doesn’t continually invade other nations or *Gasp* has the nerve to come up with a better healthcare system and have citizens that live longer than in America then it is inferior to us. Shame on you for the ignorant comments about France you made, and I hope that by now, several years later, you’ve learned enough to regret them…. doubt it, but maybe you have,